BREAKING: Manchester United & Viktor Gyökeres Reach Full Agreement That Today Is Sunday, Tomorrow Is Monday
In what is being dubbed the most transparent and straightforward agreement in football history, Manchester United and Sporting CP striker Viktor Gyökeres have officially confirmed what many around the world had already suspected: today is Sunday, and tomorrow will be Monday.
Negotiations reportedly took place early this morning, with both camps entering talks in good faith and armed with wall calendars, weather apps, and even a dusty old diary from 2003. After hours of calendar consultation and timezone synchronization, the deal was signed off with a firm handshake and a wink.
Sources say:
“There were no agents, no bidding wars, and no last-minute hijacks from Chelsea — just mutual acknowledgment of the Gregorian calendar.”
The club released an official statement shortly after:
‘We are pleased to confirm that Manchester United and Viktor Gyökeres are aligned in their understanding of the weekly cycle. This agreement reflects the kind of clarity and vision we aim to bring to all our operations, both on and off the pitch.’
Gyökeres, currently a top target in United’s summer transfer plans, posted a cryptic emoji on social media shortly after the announcement:
— believed to translate roughly to “Sunday now, Monday loading…”
Fan Reactions:
United fans have taken to X (formerly Twitter) in full force. Some reactions include:
- “Finally a deal we can count on — unlike some of our recent summer windows!”
- “At least we know United can still agree on something…”
- “Waiting for Fabrizio to tweet: ‘Here we go… for Monday.’”
Meanwhile, rival fans have mocked the “announcement,” claiming Arsenal would’ve confirmed it was Sunday three days ago, while Liverpool fans insisted they’ve already advanced discussions for Tuesday.
What’s Next?
Despite the clarity on the calendar, no personal terms have yet been agreed upon regarding what Gyökeres will do on Tuesday, or whether United will wake up in time for the Wednesday deadline.
One thing’s for certain: with agreement now firmly in place on the basics of the week, the path could finally be clear for United to make progress on their actual transfer targets.
Until then — Happy Sunday, Reds.
